surreal comedy script for criticism

[DaveFromIreland]

Yo!
Any chance anyone could take a look at a script for a surreal comedy I'm doing in January, and tell me what they think could be done better?
Gimme a shout at [email protected] if you're up for it!
Cheers,
Dave.

[Tard]

Why not just post or link the script, so it isn't sent-out individually? (more time consuming)

[Andy.tom]

I ll have a look I've sent a pm with my email address.

[Nigel]

I will say the dialog starts out in a decent way. The way Bernard and Connor speak is very natural....

Then it just takes a turn for the worse. The use of a device no matter what it is gets cheesey. You have some talent somewhere but this script just boils down to the same sophomoric crap/joke.

Keep up the good work with writing and I look forward to reading more.

Good Luck

[Jodie Whalo]

I tried emailing you for a copy of the script, but little email devils attacked me. Could you send me a link? I've had a lot of practice going over material, my mother's a writer.

[Jodie Whalo]

I tried emailing you for a copy of the script, but little email devils attacked me. Could you send me a link? I've had a lot of practice going over material, my mother's a writer.